I don't even know what kind of mood I'm in....happy? Excited (wait, this might be because The Bachelorette is coming on tonight)? Oh wait I know....new. Well, newer. P.S. this is kind of sappy, so if you want a laugh, tune in at a later date. Oookay, now that we've gotten that out of the way...
Lots of things have happened in the past year. Lots of fantastic things, and a good many suck-my-toe-life-i'm-mad-at-you-right-now things. And....I'm totally okay with it all. I really hate throwing out cliches, but sometimes, it has to happen, so brace yourselves...pause....what doesn't kill you always makes you stronger. Cringe. I know right? And if it ain't the truth.
And life definitely does teach some lessons. Especially when you don't want to learn them and you'd rather just continue skiing down the slope of Life As We Know It all angel-like and giddy.
I feel like I'm finally seeing the light at the end of a couple tunnels here lately, and it's so refreshing. Since I'm at this point, I'm also able to look back and analyze a few things I've learned.
First, everybody's path is completely and totally different. When I was in elementary school, I just knew I'd be married at 22, have babies at 24 and be this successful business person that also somehow managed a functional home life. Oh and I'd be a size 2. Hmm. Reality: getting married at 22 (unless you're somebody like LJB) is not a great idea. Looking at how far I've come in that last three years (almost 25? SCARY), I can see that I needed to grow by leaps and bounds to ever be ready for a commitment such as marriage, much less with kids involved. It's okay to not be married out of college. It's okay to take some "me time" and figure things out. Somebody told me once that you can't give yourself to another person unless you know what you're giving. I remembered that for a reason. Also, I've never been a size 2, so this notion was so lofty that my body, probably even then, laughed out loud at me. :)
Second, it takes a lot of time to get where you want to go. Impatience is one of those things that we're ingrained with from birth, it seems. I want this NOW. I'll do this NOW. Let's go NOW. Me? I'm probably the worst of all. It took me two years to get into a professional position where I feel like I belong, where I'm in my element. I've been praying and pleading for this moment for a long time. But in the whole scheme of things, what's two years? I know now that when I look back, I'll be thankful for having to want for something so badly that I'm willing to put the sweat and tears into it to making it great.
Third, who even cares what people think? This is kind of a two-parter. I've never been the person to get upset if someone doesn't like me for what I say. I've always taken pride in the fact that people don't have to wonder if I'm telling the truth, because like it or not, I usually do. Check that lesson-learned off like four times. Got it down pat. I have learned, though, that people will do what they want. Wasting my breath telling somebody what I think about a situation or a relationship or a decision doesn't do much good. Call me insensitive, but I no longer give advice unless it's asked of me. It's too much energy for me to care so much and then have my words thrown by the wayside. Do as you will. I'll love you anyway.
Fourth, the ones who have stood the test of time are worth more than gold. There are a few people in my life that have been by my side when it counted. If you'd asked me a couple years ago about what that meant, I'd have said that it's friendship rule number one. People break the golden rule of friendship all the time. It's the ones who don't that you have to love and appreciate. I've realized lately how much it means to have people surrounding me that are judgment free and 100% loving and supportive. I've made my mistakes. I've not always done the right thing. But they love me anyway. I know now that if I hit the lottery one day, I couldn't pay to have people like this in my life....although, a little cash money might help keep them around ;)
And last but not least. God is seriously a bomb-diggity event planner. It's really hard for me to "let go and let God", but if anything the past few years has taught me, is that He knows WAY better what's best for me than I ever will. There's been so many times I've just known that this or that was supposed to happen, but it didn't. There's been so many times that I've sat in bed telling God what needed to and should happen....but it didn't. My mom always says that God never says no, he either says yes or wait. I'm tremendously thankful that He told me to wait. It's the best feeling in the world seeing the puzzle pieces fall together in the complete opposite way than I was so confident would happen. :)
No comments:
Post a Comment