Swing Batta Batta...

Well, last night was officially my first softball game since my senior year of high school. And I'll save you the anxious wait....we won! Basically because not one person from the other team showed up, so they automatically forfeited, but hey...a win's a win. I was actually really grateful that we didn't have to play a real game because I've made it to neither of the two practices we've had. Hey, not my fault. The first one was Easter Sunday and the second one was during my adventure to Asheville.

Long story short, I haven't picked up a bat in like six years, which led me to worry just a smidge that I wouldn't be good at softball anymore. Okay, really, it was more like OHMYGAH I'LL STRIKE OUT 18 TIMES AND MY FACE WILL BE MANGLED BY THE BALL I CANNOT CATCH BECAUSE SOMEONE PUT BUTTER ALL OVER MY GLOVE!

But then LH and I warmed up and my face didn't end up smashed in, and then I fielded a few balls and THEN they called me up to bat (oh yeah, we stayed to practice since we weren't playing, btw). Nerves. There's people everywhere and my shorts are starting to give me a wedgie. Whatever, forget the wedgie, C, just hit. the. ball. Oh and hit that ball I did. I still got it, kids.

I was thrilled. Even after LH's snide complimentary? remarks that "hey, you're not that bad" and "wow, you got a pretty good little arm." Thanks, I forgot we were playing 5k t-ball.

Saturday Smorgasbord...

It's raining and it's Saturday. Whhyyyyyyyyyyyy............

Preferably, I'd like to be laying out by the pool this afternoon because for some unknown reason, I don't have 1,356,097 things to do. Well okay, I do, but it's just petty stuff like painting my toenails and waxing the gorilla-like hair on my eyebrows. Now I'm thinking of all the stuff I actually do need to be doing. Dangit.

Rain gods, you suck. Why did you have to all swoop in when I'm walking through the Walmart parking lot and make me do my chores? Boo.

At least it's D. Howitt's birthday dinner tonight! Hooray for Japanese and enough sodium for two days! (You will not ruin my Japanese, rain. We'll be having a war if you do. Fair warning.)

Oh, and back to Walmart. I got part of P's birthday present today. Eeek! Now I just need help making it. And no, it's not food, because I'm pwning that lately.

Also, I did just use the term pwned. Because I learned what that was at work a few weeks ago, and I've kind of been dying to say it. Too bad I'm not a gamer.

I'm so not a Foodie, but I do Like to Eat...

So I have an addiction...

...to the grocery store. It used to be a weekend crusade, but lately I haven't been able to wait. Today was one of those days. As I'm packing my lunch (out of my overflowing refrigerator no less), I decided that I'm out of the essentials and that I needed to plan a trip...to! the! grocery! store!

Also, if you didn't know, new sales start on Wednesdays, therefore adding to my excitement.

I've been on a healthy eating kick lately for a variety of reasons. First and foremost, I've found that the fresher, healthier diet I have, the less my anxiety. And then also, because I don't want to weigh 400 pounds in my future years. So yeah, I've not only been watching my calorie intake, but I've been keeping a watchful eye on sodium and sugar, as well. Eating this way truly is more expensive, but so worth it. I'm getting to the point where I enjoy eating fruits, veggies, whole grains, etc. and I can feel the difference in my body if I don't.

Where is this rant going? Oh yeah, the grocery store. Dude, I love it. It's like my own personal version of a kid's candy store. I skip inside and grab my grocery cart, all the while singing "A Spoonful of Sugar." Okay, so the last part is a lie, but don't put it past me.

The only problem with all this is that I have a tendency to not stick to my grocery list. Whoops? There's so much stuff! And for you mathematicians, not sticking to my list equals wayyyy more money spent. Guess you gotta eat to live, though, right?

They should make an equivalent of AA for people like me. Grocery-Store-Aholics-Anonymous? GSAA? Hm...new business venture in the making....stay tuned.

Slow Ride....Take it Easy

Sometimes a song just makes you feel like a badass.

**Disclaimer: Excuse my language, I really try not to swear on here because, after all, it is the world wide web and I wouldn't be surprised if one day  my Internet-surfing mother came upon this blog. So if that happens, sorry Mom for saying ass, I've already washed my mouth out with soap.**

For me, we have "Slow Ride" by Foghat. I don't know what it is about that song...well maybe yes I do, because it's like the theme song in Dazed and Confused and I want to drive those awesome cars while I listen to even awesomer '70's rock 'n roll music, but that's a conversation for another day...anyways, it makes me feel like I can conquer the world.

For people like Miss WF, it's "Don't Rain on my Parade" by Barbra Streisand. How we lived together for four years, I do not know. While I usually consider her to have great musical taste, this one I have to disagree with. Really? Brass instruments and a fast tempo make you feel like a badass? To each her own, I suppose. 

Okay, so now I'm going to listen to Foghat and discuss couponing and reusable grocery bags with HB. Happy Hump Day, weezies.

Oh and p.s., a very special Happy Birthday to Miss D. Howitt! You make my world go 'round with your in-your-face attitude and constant boy-prowling demeanor. Lurve youuuuuuuuu!

I'll Make Love to You, Like You Want Me To...

Okay, I need to get something off my chest....

Just because I listen to Boyz II Men (and yes, that is how you spell it) at work does not mean I am ghetto. It simply means that I've been slow jammin' since the dawn of time and that I'm probably way cooler than you. Haters. ;)

My butt bones also hurt from the Dragon Boat Festival, which we totally dominated, fyi. Okay well, we came in 8th place and I might've had to leave before the last heat because I was worried about my dog, but we still did awesome. It was a great day. I would post pictures but my camera has been dead for going on a year because of a night of total rainy, dizzy, redneck music-ing insanity. Wonder if the people at Wolf Camera would know how to fix that?

Candid.

This, today, is my breath of fresh air. I've always been a night owl and I find that still, that's the time when I do the most thinking...and the most worrying. Lately the thought of the future scares the daylights out of me, to be quite honest. I'm not at all where I thought I would be and although I'm thankful for the unplanned road I've taken, I also can't help but look back every once in a while and wonder if maybe, just maybe, I misstepped somewhere. The past few months have grown me in leaps and bounds, which is one of two things (God's ultimate plan) that keeps me grounded and continuously thankful that 1) there's always a lesson to be learned and 2) I'm not wandering alone. Sometimes I just need a compass to remind me that there's a North I'm heading towards. Regina Brett tossed me that compass today. Read through and pick out a few that mean the most to you. Personally, #'s 2, 11, 13, 15, 20, 30, 43 and 45 will be stapled, pinned or painted somewhere around my house soon...or heck, maybe even just written on my palm for good measure. 

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.

17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.

18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Overprepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

36. Growing old beats the alternative - dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.

38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

42. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

45. The best is yet to come.

46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

48. If you don't ask, you don't get.

49. Yield.

50. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift..

There Are Jockey Lot Gators In There...

I don't know what it is with me and extra-curricular activities lately, but I'm gettin' on it. This Saturday, P and I got semi-volunteered to do the Upstate Dragon Boat Festival. A friend of mine is on the planning committee for the SC Ovarian Cancer Foundation and they need more team members. So, Saturday morning at 8:30, I'll be paddling across Lake Hartwell proudly proclaiming that every woman get her yearly pap. Which, by the way, is super important. Really. You can even leave after your appointment and tell your man the "horror" stories that supposedly happen at the gyno, make him feel super bad for you and let him rub your feet while you eat all the ice cream you want. I say it's a win, overall, yeah?

So, in short, come see me paddle. Make big, sparkly signs. And do NOT laugh if I fall in the water, because I've already been having nightmares about this and getting attacked by the alligators that live in Hartwell now. Which is totally true, by the way. I don't care what anybody says....there are gators in the lake.

Well, hey Mr. Ness...keep a lookout for your gator friends for me?

A Day in the Life...

Highlights of the day:

• This morning, I suppose I turned off my alarm in my sleep. Mind you, I set two, because 1) I'm paranoid about so many things (I really wanted to say myriad here...enter the fact that I write for a living) that you do not even want to ask me to list them and 2) I have this nagging habit of hitting the snooze button one - or five -too many times. Anyways, I guess this is when my biological clock kicked in and I just woke up bright-eyed and bushy tailed, totally like Cinderella, on time. Gah, I rock sometimes.*
• There was a slight emergency at the abode this evening, and in my usual i-rock-sometimes* manner, I successfully googled how to remove ginormous grease stains from cute little seersucker shorts and succeeded. 
• I scored a free yogurt parfait from Chick-fil-a for lunch. Granted, I only took one bite because, according to my daily plate, I'd surpassed my sugar intake for the day...by 11:00 am. So basically, it all boiled down to the fact that I'm cheap and looooooove free stuff. 
• Tonight was Beatles night on American Idol. About this, I was a little nervous, because I love the Beatles more than I love free stuff, if you get my drift. So I knew it would go one of two ways - either the creative genius of the participants would come out and I'd swoon over each rendition (because I could totally dominate Cara when it comes to judging contestants) or I'd have to quit watching the show so I wouldn't go into a full-on rage. It was the former of the two. Ah, thank heavens.
• And lastly, because Whitney, one of my college roommates, is a scaredy cat. I mean, okay, rightly so because she lives in a big, old house with tons of creepy stuff and ghosts, but really, this was funny. This is her facebook status this a.m..."so the dogs heard something outside at 6 am, started barking, and I freaked. Freaked as in I was positive a group of robbers/murderers were in my house and my only defense was to poise myself in front of my locked bedroom door with gun in hand. And who did I call? My mom, who then drove the 10 minutes (at 6 am mind you) to come save me from the nonexistent robbers/murderers. Awesome." Don't worry, Fogle, it was just the ghosts. 

Now, we won't mention the fact that Oliver Purnell resigned as basketball coach for Clemson, or the fact that my daisy is dying, or even the fact that I saw a tornado-like dust cloud of pollen swirling around outside today. Nah...because today was a wonderful day full of sunshine, beach-like weather and this awesome yoga video I found on the Internet. 'Night y'all.

* I don't really rock, I just felt like making people think I'm cooler than I really am.

Summertime...and the Livin' is Easy

Gahhhh this weather!! I'm so not an exclamation point kinda girl - unless infuriated, miserable or in total paradise...I feel like people think you're either yelling at them or on speed - but this weather deserves the exclamation points. It's amazing. Sunny, 85 degrees, and yes, I'm sitting on my porch, barefooted, wearing a sundress. Paradise.

I think I like it most of all because Southern summers are just plain fun. They're so not romantic like all the movies make them out to be. No way. They're filled with sweaty, fat people (hello fried chicken) and enough humidity to make anybody from above the Mason-Dixon line fear for the worst. But they're so. much. fun. At any day, any point, you can see a truckload of folks driving down 85 with a boat hitched to the back heading for Hartwell or Keowee or Joccassee. Everybody is sitting on their porch, drinking sweet tea or diet coke and watching the lightning bugs twinkle like the stars. Bands play outside while the (once again sweaty) onlookers dance the night away. Every beach on the East Coast is filled with kites, bocci ball and sunbathers. You...or maybe just I...can't think of anything better.

I guess, too, the summer reminds me of that excited anticipation of the coming fall. For the first 18 or more years of everyone's life, summer is a time to relax and think about the year to come. What will I wear the first day of school? What teacher will I have? Will I like college? Ohmygah this is my last summer before I have to become an actual adult. It's like that last breath before leaping into the unknown. Even though my summers now consist of work - just like my falls, winters and springs - I can't help but get excited about what's to come. I guess it's kind of ingrained in me now...