Do you ever feel like you have a booger but you can't check out the damage because you're scared you'll get caught picking your nose?

That happens to me.

This one time, when JM and I were living in Charleston, we went to the beach with some friends. Mind you, these were guy friends that we were probably trying to impress, which, if you're a girl, you know that looking like the complete version of perfection is not an option in these situations.

Anyways, we're playing in the ocean, looking cute as buttons and this humongous wave comes and knocks everyone over. It was that kind of tumbling in the water deal where you can't tell which way is up or down. Well, I finally found Up and popped out of the water giggling and *trying* to look like it was no big deal that what just happened probably made me look like some sort of beached octopus. I systematically checked everyone before surfacing...bikini bottoms: check, top in place: check, hair out of my face: yep. All systems go.

So yeah, I come up and everybody takes a two-second look at me and starts howling with laughter? Whaaatttt??? My so-called best friend was laughing so uncontrollably that she couldn't even tell me what was wrong. I'm scrambling. Then, I found it. This monster of snot running clear down my nose to my chin. Annnd then...I was at a loss. How do you make a lugey look cool? Answer? You can't. You just wipe it off (yes with your hand because the only other option is seaweed and that....is not okay) and try to laugh with the rest of them.

I was mortified. Thankfully, it broke the booger barrier with those guys. But wow, it does suck to be the martyr in that situation. You got stories? Tell 'em in the comments!

Saturday Smorgasbord...

Here we are again. Saturday. Amazingday.

• First off, whatever thing I used to get my blog design has erased it! Why? I don't understand? Did you, Blog Background Person, decide you don't like me anymore? I mean, I'm doing free advertising for you. Whatever...your backgrounds stink.
• I'm happy :) I really don't want to jinx myself, but things are going splendidly at the moment. I couldn't ask for more.
• I need shag lessons. I know the basics, but that don't mean I'm good. Or even decent? I guess when it came down to the dancing talents, God decided I was already wayyy too perfect, so he nixed that part. Anyways, WF's wedding reception will have a band. And lots of dancing. And I need to be a part of that...I HAVE to be a part of that. Ideas on shag dancing lessons?
• T.J. Maxx. Enough said. Two pairs of pants, two shirts and a pair of OMGGGG-awesome shoes for $99.00. Just call me queen of the sale.
• I really need to paint my nails. What is up with nail color lately? It chips on day one. Does this only happen to me? I can't even know, but seriously, I don't have the time or the motivation...or the patience...to paint my nails and then sit there doing nothing while they dry. Speaking of, I think somebody told me the other day they make nail polish you can just peel off now? I need this. Asap.
• What's up with the Wiener dog? He's sleeping. Borrrrinnngggg. Although, he met a new person this week and low and behold, he liked him in about 2.5 seconds. This is unheard of. And to top it off, he seriously, like, loves him more than he loves me. I feel betrayed. Who is it that feeds, waters, plays with him, takes him to go potty and everything else that a good dog-mother should do? That's me. Me!
•  Annnnd now I'm off to shower, eat hamburgers and see D's new house! Yay Saturday!

Just call me the snake that's shedding it's skin...

I don't even know what kind of mood I'm in....happy? Excited (wait, this might be because The Bachelorette is coming on tonight)? Oh wait I know....new. Well, newer. P.S. this is kind of sappy, so if you want a laugh, tune in at a later date. Oookay, now that we've gotten that out of the way...

Lots of things have happened in the past year. Lots of fantastic things, and a good many suck-my-toe-life-i'm-mad-at-you-right-now things. And....I'm totally okay with it all. I really hate throwing out cliches, but sometimes, it has to happen, so brace yourselves...pause....what doesn't kill you always makes you stronger. Cringe. I know right? And if it ain't the truth.

And life definitely does teach some lessons. Especially when you don't want to learn them and you'd rather just continue skiing down the slope of Life As We Know It all angel-like and giddy.

I feel like I'm finally seeing the light at the end of a couple tunnels here lately, and it's so refreshing. Since I'm at this point, I'm also able to look back and analyze a few things I've learned.

First, everybody's path is completely and totally different. When I was in elementary school, I just knew I'd be married at 22, have babies at 24 and be this successful business person that also somehow managed a functional home life. Oh and I'd be a size 2. Hmm. Reality: getting married at 22 (unless you're somebody like LJB) is not a great idea. Looking at how far I've come in that last three years (almost 25? SCARY), I can see that I needed to grow by leaps and bounds to ever be ready for a commitment such as marriage, much less with kids involved. It's okay to not be married out of college. It's okay to take some "me time" and figure things out. Somebody told me once that you can't give yourself to another person unless you know what you're giving. I remembered that for a reason. Also, I've never been a size 2, so this notion was so lofty that my body, probably even then, laughed out loud at me. :)

Second, it takes a lot of time to get where you want to go. Impatience is one of those things that we're ingrained with from birth, it seems. I want this NOW. I'll do this NOW. Let's go NOW. Me? I'm probably the worst of all. It took me two years to get into a professional position where I feel like I belong, where I'm in my element. I've been praying and pleading for this moment for a long time. But in the whole scheme of things, what's two years? I know now that when I look back, I'll be thankful for having to want for something so badly that I'm willing to put the sweat and tears into it to making it great.

Third, who even cares what people think? This is kind of a two-parter. I've never been the person to get upset if someone doesn't like me for what I say. I've always taken pride in the fact that people don't have to wonder if I'm telling the truth, because like it or not, I usually do. Check that lesson-learned off like four times. Got it down pat. I have learned, though, that people will do what they want. Wasting my breath telling somebody what I think about a situation or a relationship or a decision doesn't do much good. Call me insensitive, but I no longer give advice unless it's asked of me. It's too much energy for me to care so much and then have my words thrown by the wayside. Do as you will. I'll love you anyway.

Fourth, the ones who have stood the test of time are worth more than gold. There are a few people in my life that have been by my side when it counted. If you'd asked me a couple years ago about what that meant, I'd have said that it's friendship rule number one. People break the golden rule of friendship all the time. It's the ones who don't that you have to love and appreciate. I've realized lately how much it means to have people surrounding me that are judgment free and 100% loving and supportive. I've made my mistakes. I've not always done the right thing. But they love me anyway. I know now that if I hit the lottery one day, I couldn't pay to have people like this in my life....although, a little cash money might help keep them around ;)

And last but not least. God is seriously a bomb-diggity event planner. It's really hard for me to "let go and let God", but if anything the past few years has taught me, is that He knows WAY better what's best for me than I ever will. There's been so many times I've just known that this or that was supposed to happen, but it didn't. There's been so many times that I've sat in bed telling God what needed to and should happen....but it didn't. My mom always says that God never says no, he either says yes or wait.  I'm tremendously thankful that He told me to wait. It's the best feeling in the world seeing the puzzle pieces fall together in the complete opposite way than I was so confident would happen. :)

I Got A New Job and I Choked on Water...

So today was the big day. The new job. 


Let me start by saying I didn't sleep last night. Like, barely at all. I finally fell asleep about 1:30, woke up at 3:00 to Sam making creepy noises in his sleep, woke up again at 4:00, again at 5:30 and again at 6:11. It was over after that. Needless to say, I'm just thankful I wasn't delirious enough to call the boss the wrong name or let drool dribble down my chin and onto the computer today. Thank the Lord for small big favors.

I couldn't get it all right, though. I got home this evening and drank a sip of water, which proceeded to go down the complete and total wrong pipe and returned with brute force back up my throat and out of both nostrils. I don't know why I'm always by myself when things like this happen (or when I hear people in my apartment complex doing the dirty. Why am I always alone for that? It's not right.), because I feel as though someone else would thoroughly enjoy my pain. But alas, it was just Sam. And he was more concerned about the wheat crackers I was eating. Fattie.

So yeah...the point of this story? (Delirium kicking in) My job! It went really well. I met everyone, filled out my paperwork, got some computer training and went to a shoot for a video for the website. I'll be in these videos soon. GASP. I know right? Scary. But, we all know I love to be the center of attention, so I can't say I'm not excited ;)

Until next time...

Annnd she's off!

Yep. Off alllll week! Let me just tell you how nice this is...

I've spent the past two days cleaning out stuff. Crap. Junk. Whatever you wish to call it. Here are a few things I've come across...

• Dried roses from sometime in high school that I totally thought were going to be made into potpourri at my and so-and-so's wedding. Who even gave these to me? Can't remember. Apparently not my future husband.
• My Clemson baby booties - I've been a Tiger since birth, y'all. It's nice to know I've been raised right.
• An old digital camera box - good thing I kept up with the box since I lost the camera about three years ago. Responsibility, folks. That's what it's all about.
• Old Halloween outfits - ummm pumped is all I can say about this. Wanna come over and play dress up?
• Journals galore - I've had a journal since I was in like 4th grade. I spent the majority of yesterday reading them all.

Through reading these journals, I've found that I was really a nice person. In one elementary school entry, I remember being FURIOUS at this one person, and I wrote about how much I was upset and that I hated him. The next sentence went something like, "well ok I don't hate him, I'm just really angry with him." What?! I felt so bad for saying that I hated him that I immediately re-nigged the comment. Probably because you're not supposed to hate people. So Momma says. Still super sweet.

No wonder people love me so much. ;)

Anyways, I'm heading to Charleston on Thursday with some mighty fine ladies to get in some good r & r before WF and MD's engagement party on Saturday. Whoop! Also, Mr. Ben is my date, that handsome stud. AND if you don't know who he is, you should probably read this. It's really too bad he couldn't have competed in the Miss SC Pageant. He'd have won by a landslide.